Years ago i was naive enough to feel that every ounce of my soul went into every piece of a man... a certain man. nothing came out of that but a strong lesson learned and a harsh slap of reality. Words that could kill someone forever, pain that was nothing explainable but still the strongest feeling of love and compassion towards each other, that leaving wasn't the option until something or someone was better. But we'll talk more about that later.
I thought that someone better came along about 2 years later, someone who was wearing nothing but my fairytale shining armor suit. Regardless of anything anyone told me, that he wasn't "the one" or that ,"he was out joy riding my new car," and even ignoring all of my intuitions when he wouldn't come home after 3am every weekend night. Something inside my heart wouldn't let this one go, it held on for dear life as if it were going to stop beating with out him. Even after being hurt so bad in the years previous, my heart seemed to open up and start loving someone else, finally.
So now we're here 4 years later and I'm stuck.... literally stuck in the same position at 12am in the morning looking at our apartment and just how still it is. This apartment hasn't seen love for a long time,and our previous apartment saw nothing but a love trying to work but multiple errors and fights along the way. so here I am, stuck wondering why I've had the baby, gave him his first son, his only child and given nothing to him but my passion for our love and continued to be the hopeless romantic that Ive always been, but still; no ring. No enthusiasm to do it, yet four years of myself Ive given; but this is not what this blog is about, its about finding out why things do what they do in our life's I want to give my own perspectives on things that go wrong... and right in our lives. I want to find the balance, the point in which I am content with every aspect of my surroundings and my very own relationships.
enjoy & feel free to join my thoughts of my journey through finding....finding IT
-glamlux
